“To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.” Dr Seuss
The most important person in the life of a child is the person who spends the most time with them. It is their mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, koro, nanny, or caregiver. It is the person who wakes them in the morning for school, and tucks them into bed at night. It’s the person who gets up at 3am to a nightmare or tummy ache, and calls in sick to work because their child needs them. It is that person who reads them endless ‘Thomas The Tank Engine’ Stories and acts if the rainbow they just drew is the Mona Lisa!
Never underestimate the power you have over the health and well-being of your child.
They chose you because there was something in you that could give them what they needed in this lifetime. They are here to learn from you, and you are here to learn from them. You are both connected on a soul level, and nothing in the world runs deeper than that.
Children learn from us everyday. They learn how valuable they are, and not just from how we treat them, but by how we treat ourselves.
So how do you treat yourself?
Are you kind and gentle on yourself, or are you hard on yourself? Do you speak your truth or keep it bottled up inside so you don’t upset anyone? Do you take time for yourself to do the things you love or do you sacrifice your sanity to fill the needs of others? Do you speak to yourself with love or call yourself names?
Whatever it is you think about yourself, or don’t think, is forming the belief systems of your child. They are learning how to treat themselves and how others should treat them by the way you treat yourself, and allow others to treat you.
That’s huge right? The power we have over the way our child views themselves should be handled with care. When we as mothers go without so much all the time, so that we can give our children everything, we are teaching them that they must sacrifice everything for those they love.
So what is the most effective way to raise the self-esteem of our children? We must raise the self-esteem of ourselves as parents before we can even begin to raise the self-esteem of our children. We must rise up, overcome our fears, our negative self-beliefs and start to feel good about ourselves.
Why does that feel uncomfortable? Because it’s easier as parents, or guardians to do something for our children than it is for ourselves. But we are role models, and therefore we must model positive self-esteem every single day. If this is what we want for our children, we must first obtain it for ourselves.
Even when you think they are not watching… they are! They are looking, and listening and absorbing us like little sponges. They are imitating our thoughts, and actions, the good and the bad. Say nothing, do nothing, and still they are absorbing the energy that we are vibrating out into the universe. They are learning from us how they should feel about themselves, by the way we feel about ourselves. What you see when you look in the mirror is what they learn to see when they look in the mirror. When we place importance on make up, clothes, jewellery, purses, ties, bags, cars, money, or the weight on the scales, they place importance on those things too.
The saying ‘Children have a mind of their own’ Should really say ‘Children have a soul of their own, and a mind like their parents’.
‘Today I am realising that the power to changing my children lies within the power I have to change myself’.